One of my favorite vacation destinations is the beach. I love essentially everything about it: The ocean, with it’s waves rhythmic and crashing; the sounds of the sea soothingly breathing in and out. I love getting in the water, surrendering to the tide’s calm rocking, feeling cleansed and rejuvenated. My favorite thing to do is to get out where the water is about chest high, plant my feet in the ocean floor, and go weak in the knees so that the waves bob me up and down like a cork. I like walking barefoot in the sand and feeling that...
Great Betrayals
How do you put the pieces of your story back together after finding out about a great betrayal? How do you reclaim a past when you find out it was seemingly built around a longstanding lie? In her article ‘Great Betrayals’, Anna Fels explores how ‘robbing someone of his or her story’ through a longstanding lie or betrayal may be ‘the greatest tragedy of all’. FREQUENTLY, a year or even less after the discovery of a longstanding lie, the victims are counseled to move on, to put it all behind them and stay focused on the future. But it’s not...
What You Don’t Say
You’ve probably heard the story about old man Floyd, a widower, who lived alone in a ramshackle house down by the river. Floyd was a man of great faith who seemed content regardless of circumstances. Anyone in town could tell you that when times were tough Floyd would just smile and say, “the Lord will provide.” And, it always seemed so. That is until the rains came. The river crested its banks and began flooding Floyd’s community. When the water was in the streets, big trucks and buses were employed to evacuate the townspeople. When they arrived at Floyd’s house, he politely refused, “the Lord will...
Got Story?
Just so you know from the outset, these words have no magic potion, no 30-day money-back guarantee, and not any earth-shaking information. In fact, this is a major “not rocket science” collection of words. This is so simple you can do it with your eyes closed. You can do it in the car. You can do it eating pizza. Or even when your child and you are somewhere in that blessed world between nighttime stories, stern warnings, prayers, drinks, and sleep. First, I want to borrow an idea from Kermit the Frog. Since he first entered our lives, he has...
No Neutral Relating
A former boss/mentor/fatherly-friend once told me ‘You can’t not lead; the fact is you’re always leading, it’s just a matter of how well or poorly you’re doing it.’ This phrase has been stuck in my head for years now, and always seems to find new areas to lay hold of. Lately, this saying has modified into ‘You can’t not affect others in relationships, you’re either building up or tearing down, there is no neutral.’ “Sin sprouts, as banana trees on the Nile, whenever the effect of your relationships with others is to diminish rather than enlarge them. There is no...
On Disciplining Children
The root of discipline is disciple. The point of disciplining is to teach. As parents, we are in the business of teaching our children to lead fruitful and healthy lives. However, many times we find ourselves feeling frustrated about how we handle difficult parenting moments – Those moments when we yell, shame, or are sarcastic instead of teaching. Bill Cosby says, “No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids – their behavior is always normal.” So, how should we treat these wonderful, frustrating, crazy and normal children...
Oh, Good Grief!
Oh, Good Grief! “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.” –C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves Have you ever lost something? Or someone? I don’t mean like losing your keys, or getting separated from your mother in the department store… I mean truly losing something. Like a part of you has gone missing. That deep pain that escapes the ability to explain it to others. It’s like your life before the loss and your life after the loss are completely different. I know I have. What do we do...
Savor the Moment
The rugged canyon at Laity Lodge, deep in the Hill Country of Texas, illustrates that even the hardest surfaces can be worn down over time. So can we call it the “water wearing away rock” phenomenon. I am referring to hard circumstances in our lives that go on and on. Some of them, perhaps all will sound familiar: – Elderly parents, frail unhappy, in varying degrees of Alzheimer’s or dementia – Children whose fondest dreams are not becoming reality – Chronic pain – The phone call saying- the biopsy is positive – Financial worries – Worry for the very safety...
Love Wins – a lesson I learned while stuck in traffic
I drive a truck. It’s my favorite vehicle that I’ve ever owned, and it has a sticker on the back that says “Love Wins.” If you’ve ever seen me on the road I hope I was behaving myself, and that I was at least somewhere in the neighborhood of the speed limit! This is a short story about that truck, love winning, and relationships with the people in our lives. So I was on my way home the other day when a fender bender ahead of me was causing a bit of a traffic jam. I was in the lane...
A Woman's Desire for Beauty
A woman sits at her kitchen table, taking a breath and a quick break from the demands of her world. She is being pulled, pressured, criticized, and drained. She thinks briefly of the woman she wishes she could be and becomes lost in all she wants for herself: A woman who was beautiful in every picture. She was admired and emulated. Always confident and sure of who she was. No matter what she did, it was okay. She was intelligent, challenging herself with books, enriching her life with music, being a true friend to those who needed her. And...