You’ve probably heard the story about old man Floyd, a widower, who lived alone in a ramshackle house down by the river. Floyd was a man of great faith who seemed content regardless of circumstances. Anyone in town could tell you that when times were tough Floyd would just smile and say, “the Lord will provide.” And, it always seemed so. That is until the rains came. The river crested its banks and began flooding Floyd’s community.
When the water was in the streets, big trucks and buses were employed to evacuate the townspeople. When they arrived at Floyd’s house, he politely refused, “the Lord will provide,” he said. Soon the water was a few inches deep in Floyd’s home and he climbed into his attic, which was roomy enough. This time boats were mobilized to evacuate the town. One boat pulled up to Floyd’s house and yelled for him to climb in. Floyd just waived at the boat from the attic window, “it’s alright boys, the Lord will provide.” Just before nightfall Floyd was forced to his roof and a helicopter hovered lowering a lift. Floyd waived them away, “the Lord will provide,” he was heard to say.  Floyd drowned that night and let me tell you he was mighty angry when he met St. Peter at the Heavenly gates. The Lord came to meet Floyd and got an earful, “Lord,” Floyd said, “Where were you? I’ve been faithful all my life and you have always provided.” The Lord just looked at Floyd and said, “Floyd, I sent you a truck, a boat and a helicopter, how much provision do you need?”
Floyd’s story has many lessons and likely has been the subject of some fine sermons. Whatever we may learn from Floyd’s story, it seems plain that Floyd’s calamity resulted from a failure to communicate. Floyd talked to the Lord and the Lord responded, but Floyd didn’t hear Him. You may say we are being a little picky here, after all, the Lord didn’t say in a booming voice, “Get in the boat.” But, the Lord answered Floyd just the same, though not in the manner Floyd was expecting. In therapist “speak” we would say Floyd was not “attuned” to the Lord. They weren’t “in tune” with one another is one way to look at it.
Do you ever find yourself “out of tune” with your spouse? Words are spoken, feelings are hurt and you find yourself and your spouse a little farther apart. To communicate well, we need to try and understand our spouse’s “state of mind,” as well as our own. We all have filters unconsciously operating whenever we communicate. Floyd’s “filter” may have been expecting some supernatural mighty act of God in a booming voice; a truck, boat and helicopter just make him angry.
I’m reminded of a friend who had a hard week of work, coming home late most nights.  Friday night he came home late again, and was met at the door by his wife looking great as she gives him a kiss, takes his coat, loosens his tie and escorts him to the dining room table where she has a gourmet meal on a candle lit table. She pulls out his chair with a large smile on her face. Worn out from the long week, my friend looks at his wife and says, “that looks great, but you know what, it’s been such a hard week, let’s get out the TV trays and eat on the couch, there’s a game I want to watch.” He settled in on the couch.
A moment later, she walks up to him with two plates, proceeds to dump them both in his lap, and says, “ You can get your own TV tray, enjoy the game. I’m going to bed.”
Needless to say, they didn’t exactly have a meeting of the minds. She had spent hours getting herself and the meal “perfect” desiring a romantic evening with her husband. She walks away hurt and unappreciated. He was tired and just wanted to relax at home. He walks away with a lot of clean up to do and angry that she expects him to “read her mind.” Both had communicated from their own “state of mind”, rather than trying to “tune in” to the other. They both missed a lot of communication. Had he “tuned in” to her unspoken communication, her smiling face, great looking hair, pleasing clothes, nice perfume and a candlelight dinner; or had she noticed his bloodshot, baggy eyes and tired face, the evening likely would have turned out differently.
If an interaction with your spouse leaves you feeling misunderstood or under-appreciated, check on your “attunement.” Communicate first by trying on your partner’s “shoes.” Get to know their “state of mind”. The more you practice the more you will understand your spouse and meet each other’s expectations. Work to be “in tune” with one another and next time, climb aboard that truck, boat or helicopter, then enjoy that romantic evening.
From Richard Coker