The Upcoming 7 Principles Class is 7 Tuesdays from March 24th to April 28th, 6:30 – 8 pm $25- Registration/ $325- (Class, 7 Principles Book and 2 Workbooks) For more information and to register: [email protected] or 601-951-3131 I, Lida Caraway, am thrilled to be offering a relationship class at The Shepherd’s Staff in September, 2014! It’s a dream come true for me! As I have talked with friends, clients and couples about the upcoming class, I realize that I can’t communicate my excitement and energy without wanting to start with my whole long professional love-affair with John Gottman! The How and...
Boredom – The Roots and Remedy
“I’m bored…” The phrase nearly every parent hears throughout the summer, and it seems that it does not matter how many activities, camps, groups or events your child is signed up for – the issue of boredom is constantly lurking around the corner of the next hour. Inevitably, it happens around day two of summer. Day one is filled with the joy of being unrestrained by school and homework. Day two is then filled with the despair of several months with ‘nothing to do’. In my own work with adolescents this is an issue that gets brought up consistently, and...
The Heartbreak of Miscarriage
It’s June 24th, and I am sitting in my office after an unscheduled early morning trip to the doctor. My wife and I are expecting a child in January, and we’ve been through the ups and downs of several miscarriages before now. Because of that fact we are understandably a little jumpy when it comes to cramps and pains and other symptoms that can be scary. Thankfully everything is okay, and we feel a great sense of relief having just heard our baby’s strong heartbeat for the second time. We haven’t always had that sense of relief, however. In fact,...
Why Do I Yell at My Kids?
I always wanted to be one of those parents whose kids would grow up to say that their dad never yelled or snapped at them, that he was always cool and collected, disciplining out of love rather than reactivity. Unfortunately, I’m already ten years into this parenting thing and have botched it too many times to count. So what do I do when I screw up and snap at my kids? I can think of only a few options. The first is to blame. Use a lot of ‘buts’, such as “I know I yelled at you, but ____.” Blame work,...
Celebrate the Small Stuff
I remember the first time I heard the idea of ‘celebrating the small stuff’. I was working in a non-profit ministry where the gains of my work were small, few and far-between. The reality was, if I waited for any big, grand successes to come I’d be waiting a long while. In the midst of this setting I began to learn the importance of celebrating along the way. I suppose I should clarify what I mean when I say ‘celebrate the small stuff’. First, what do I mean by small stuff? Simply put, those small or minor gains, triumphs, milestones, gifts or successes in...
What a Shame
Have you ever stopped and considered how much shame is in your life? I’m not talking about guilt, which is feeling bad when you do something wrong. I’m talking about shame. Shame means that you feel wrong. The things you do, say, and feel are just wrong. Do you ever have a voice pop up every once in a while and say things like, “You really shouldn’t feel this way,” “You really should have it all together,” “I can’t believe how selfish you’re being,” “You are just pathetic.” Maybe the voice criticizes you. Maybe it is downright mean. Or maybe...
Dying To Live
Sunday was the final round of the Masters golf tournament, and it was an especially good day because I got to see it again with my father. Watching that particular tournament on television was something I always used to love as a kid. Not only did it make for some good quality time with my dad, but it also heralded the beginning of a new year for golf. It’s always the first major tournament each year, and it is held in early spring when the azaleas are in full bloom. The Augusta National Golf Club is where the Masters calls...
Parenthood 101 – Affirmation
‘Affirm’ as defined by Merriam Webster: – to say that something is true in a confident way : to show a strong belief in or dedication to (something, such as an important idea) Let’s flesh that out as it relates to parenting our kids. What can we affirm? Certainly, we can affirm their positive behaviors or achievements. Typically, this is the first to come to mind. In his book ‘Loving Obedience‘, Dr. Bill Richardson proposes several other areas to affirm, including a child’s contributions, improvements, efforts, and assets. We’ll look at each in turn: Affirm Achievements – It seems that our social...
Parenthood 101 – Have Some Fun
I remember hearing about the joys of parenthood many times over…and then I had 4 kids in 7 years. What joy is there in sleepless nights, constant mess, dirty diapers, monotonous routines, and sheer exhaustion? On top of that, I was told to try and have fun with my kids. Really? Comedian Jim Gaffigan put my experience into words when he was asked about having his fourth kid by replying, ‘Imagine drowning, and then someone hands you a baby.’ It definitely hasn’t been the sheer delight and bliss that I naively imagined going into it. I’d like to reemphasize my foundation...
Parenthood 101 – Introduction
As a parent of four, it’s very easy for me to spend a vast amount of my time cleaning up, watching out for, correcting, disciplining, planning, talking with, doing homework, entertaining, or resting from my kids. Over time, and sadly over a lot of wasted time, I’ve begun to realize how certain aspects of parenting are becoming more and more valuable to me. I’ve also realized how easily overwhelmed I can become by the vast amount of information that I simply don’t know, or know how to apply. My hope in this series of posts is to help simplify some fundamental parenting...