How do I know if I’m depressed?

You might be surprised to know that the answer to that question may be more subtle than you think.  There are several things to consider if you think you could be depressed.

1.  How is your sleep?  Sleeping too much is a well known symptom, but did you know that not sleeping enough can also be a symptom?  You might be waking up at night, or you might be avoiding bedtime.  Either one can keep you from getting the kind of rest you need.
2. Do you feel restless?  You might have nervous energy or simply feel “off” or uncomfortable in your own skin.
3. Are you tired a lot?  This is one that I’ve ignored because I just thought it was part of being a middle aged adult.  That doesn’t have to be true.
4. Do you struggle with feelings of worthlessness or guilt?  Again, just because it may seem common in society doesn’t mean it’s inevitable or can’t be helped.
5. Do you have trouble concentrating?  You might be distracted or forgetful.  These symptoms can be related to other things, but they can also show up in depression.
6. Have you seen recent changes to your weight or appetite?  This can be an increase or a decrease.  These changes obviously don’t signal depression every time, but they can be one data point on the graph, so to speak.
7. Have you been irritable or angry a good bit lately?  This is an important one that I think many folks miss.  Anger and irritability are secondary emotions, meaning they don’t show up without other more primary emotions driving them along.  That grumpy old man you know might really just be depressed.
8. Have you withdrawn from family and friends?  Pulling away can be one way the brain tries to conserve energy when it’s depressed.
9. Do you not enjoy things like you used to?  If your hobbies just aren’t fun anymore, it may be your mood.
10. Have you lost motivation for things?  This can also include hobbies, but it might show up as loss of motivation for work, or connecting with others in general.
11. Are you abusing drugs or alcohol?  This could be a way of self-medicating a depressed mood.
12. Have you had thoughts of suicide or just not existing?  These are two of the more obvious signs, but I wasn’t going to leave them out.  If you’ve had these kinds of thoughts, then do not wait.  Go ahead and see a doctor today.

I’ve known several folks (myself included) who did not recognize their own depression because they seemed to be functioning just fine at work, still engaging with society, and getting along OK with family and friends.  I thought I was just tired because of a life with young children in the house.  After all, aren’t the stressors of a busy schedule, finances, and the expectations of adulting enough to wear anyone down these days?

Yes, they certainly are.  But what I missed, and what I believe many men miss more often than women, is that just because it’s common doesn’t mean it doesn’t need some care and attention.  You don’t have to be curled up in a corner to be depressed.

This list isn’t meant to be a substitute for going to your doctor or to a counselor for a formal diagnosis, and one certainly doesn’t need to show all of these signs in order to benefit from counseling or even medication.  Only a handful can be an indication.  If you see yourself in any of these, I invite you to go see about it.  Feeling better is worth the effort on the front end.

From Matt Thames, M.A., LPC